So, what is there to do right now in the middle of a SHELTER IN PLACE but a little scrolling through various media feeds, right? Yesterday, I am going through some sites related to college students as we have one completing med school and another a junior in the University system. Tell you what, y’all I am about to loose my mind when I read parents (of COLLEGE STUDENTS) referring to them as “children “and how the ‘various systems” are not taking care of their “child”. Specifically, one thread was full of parents who wanted to know what the University was going to do to “keep their kids safe”? “Healthy”
“Will you check in on them?”
“Will you make sure they have medicine if they get sick?” Over and over parents worried about their little cherubs, who are 19, 20, 21 and probably even 22 years of age. Now, I don’t want to seem heartless, truly, I’m not. However, from “my child should have to take this course pass/fail, because they just can’t cope in the world today”, and “my child should get x, y or z”, because they exist—- we have gone off the rails.
GIVE ME A BREAK!
Our youngest at a fairly young age was diagnosed with Asthma and learned quickly that she needed to know what medicines she was taking and why, and what she needed to do in manage her symptoms. If we ended up at a doctors office for any other reason, say illness or even a regular check-up, the doctor would frequently ask me (the mom) all those various questions and I would say, “you need to ask her”. Sometimes, if it was a new health care provider they would be a little taken back but then after addressing my daughter directly would be shocked by her command of her health situation. At age 10, she could (with great eye contact and firm voice) recite her care plan and share her symptoms of our reason for the visit and comprehend what the doctor was asking of her with the need being presented and be able to follow said plan.
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With the Covid19/Wuhan Virus, there may be a temptation to step in and “help” your adult child who is away from you, or maybe not away from — PLEASE DON’T. If they have a neck ache and need help, coach them on ways to seek treatment but don’t make their appointments. If they are worried about the current health concerns, coach them about what medicines and supplies they may need to have on hand in case they fall ill. Noodle with them about what the various scenarios may be coming their way and inquire what they may do, but DO NOT hoover over them as they navigate adulthood and the consequences of their choices.
The whole #adultingishard. YUCK! How did we get so soft and unprepared for life?
How about you? Thoughts? Is it hard for you to let your adult child be an ADULT? Is it a knee jerk response of yours to help? To hoover? To fix?
Let me just say, I believe we go where the bar has been set. Expect your young adult to handle and solve problems – that is our job and if we did it well. THEY THRIVE!
Mama Bear Moments 